I was just having lunch sitting at the bar. I overheard this conversation between the waitress and the probably thirty-something-year-old guy next to me.
Waitress: “Would you like a lemon or a lime with that?”
He gets quiet. He says, “Ahhh. Ahhh”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He whispers: “The green one.”
Waitress: “What?”
He says, “I like the green fruit with my drinks.”
Waitress: “What….green…fruit? Kiwi?”
He says, “No. List the first two again.”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He says: “Whatever the green one of those is.”
Then he spots a lime on the bar and says, “That. I want that.”
HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIME AND A LEMON. A HUMAN BEING MAN WHO HAS A WALLET AND CLOTHES AND HAS BEEN ON EARTH FOR AT LEAST THREE DECADES - CALLS A LIME “THE GREEN FRUIT.”
PLEASE STOP CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
THANK YOU, THE MGMT.
Holy Jesus.
![slackmistress:
jenkirkman:
I was just having lunch sitting at the bar. I overheard this conversation between the waitress and the probably thirty-something-year-old guy next to me.
Waitress: “Would you like a lemon or a lime with that?”
He gets quiet. He says, “Ahhh. Ahhh”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He whispers: “The green one.”
Waitress: “What?”
He says, “I like the green fruit with my drinks.”
Waitress: “What….green…fruit? Kiwi?”
He says, “No. List the first two again.”
Waitress: “Lemon or lime?”
He says: “Whatever the green one of those is.”
Then he spots a lime on the bar and says, “That. I want that.”
HE DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LIME AND A LEMON. A HUMAN BEING MAN WHO HAS A WALLET AND CLOTHES AND HAS BEEN ON EARTH FOR AT LEAST THREE DECADES - CALLS A LIME “THE GREEN FRUIT.”
PLEASE STOP CALLING AMERICA THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
THANK YOU, THE MGMT.
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Holy Jesus.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4abln1YPn1qzecyno1_400.jpg)
I was stunned when I heard the news that Dan Harmon would no longer be helming his own creation. After reading his side of thing, I’m saddened, and it now feels like Community has had it’s heart ripped out - it remains to be seen if they’ll put in a transplanted heart or not, and if they do, you know it won’t be the same.
Kids:
A few hours ago, I landed in Los Angeles, turned on my phone, and confirmed what you already know. Sony Pictures Television is replacing me as showrunner on Community, with two seasoned fellows that I’m sure are quite nice - actually, I have it on good authority they’re quite nice, because…
IDAHO - May 17th
I feel like I’m starting International Day Against Homophobia on an angry rampage against Huffington Post. I really wish someone would keep them in line, and so I tried this morning, but it’s hard to contain my resentment towards them to 140 characters.
I’m not an “in your face” lesbian, but I can be a political one. One who believes in equality for everyone, and not just those of us lucky enough to be Canadian, but everyone, the world over. But that’s not where it ends for me, I have a huge issue with people being bullied for being different, or for those who are completely clueless that there actions may be hurting a large group of people.
Take for example, my current issue with Huffington Post. They posted a link to Jimmy Kimmel Live’s “Pedesterian Question”, and last night’s was “Have you ever had a gay experience?” Now, Huff Post calls it topical, based on Obama being touted by Newsweek magazine as “The First Gay President” (I’ll let you in on a little secret Newsweek, in order for anyone to have that title, they have to, in fact be gay). The problem is, Huff Post posted that today, and if you watch the video clip, it has the audience guessing if the people being interviewed have ever had a gay experience. The issue with this, is that people are guessing based on appearance, thereby perpetrating stereotypes.
This angers me like you wouldn’t believe. I quote, “pass for straight”, end quote. By which I mean there is nothing outwardly obvious about me that tells you I’m a lesbian. Why? Because stereotypes are antiquated, people evolve, and who we choose to sleep with, or love does not change how we look, or make us any less valued as a person. If anything, it makes us better people.
I ask you to have an open mind today, as you go out into the world. I am confident that you’ll encounter at least one person today that fits somewhere in our beautiful spectrum of LGBTTQ community. Whether they’re openly out, or not, we’re living among you, being our authentic selves. We’ve come a long way as a community, but there are so many of us that have so much farther to go. If you get the chance to, watch the beautifully made documentary “Beyond Gay: The Politics of Pride”, it’s eye opening as it shows you which countries are the most accepting of their gay community member, and which aren’t - including what types of punishment there is for being gay.
For those of you who have gay friends, thank you. Try to see at least one of them today, and give them a big hug.
And for those of you looking for some cool t-shirts, check out Montreal based Revel and Riot: www.revelandriot.com They created the “God Hates Bags” bags and Twin music sensation Tegan and Sara are often seen sporting their shirts.
Brock Davis does it again. This guy seriously never fails to impress; check out his photostream!
via Colossal
here’s what celebration should look like.
three years ago today, jessica and i ran away to malibu and got our domestic partnership paperwork notarized by a guy at a mailboxes etc. who never took off his bluetooth headset.
we had been engaged for three months and were well into planning a big backyard wedding in the fall - but given it was highly unlikely california would extend “marriage” anytime before then, we wanted to nail down our separate-but-equal legal protections sooner than later.
so despite the utter ridiculousness of this paperwork runaround - and the inherent humiliation, frankly, in standing in line at a fucking strip mall knowing this was legally-speaking our “best” option - we did absolutely everything we could to make it fun (beach! cupcakes! tattoos!).
of all our anniversaries (first date, engagement - helpfully those two are the same - and yaybestdayever), this is the one we’re least likely to make a big deal out of. i almost had to check the paperwork to be sure it was the right day.
this year, i just wanted a reminder of all that i have to celebrate.
It takes a lot of paperwork and notary signatures to cobble together about 70% of what marriage gets you in five drunk minutes in Vegas. It’s well worth it for our life together…but one day it will be nice to have another anniversary to celebrate.
I love my friends Jessica and Shana. I just wish the government loved them as much as I do.
I love my friends Jessica and Shana. But I don’t need to government to love them. I need to government to RESPECT THEIR RIGHTS AS HUMAN BEINGS.
This argument isn’t (or shouldn’t be) about whether or not you agree with same-sex couples getting married. (I’d like to hope that you agree that two consenting adults should be allowed to get married, though.)
It’s about same-sex couples being accorded the same civil liberties as heterosexual couples.
The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a Virginia law banning interracial marriage (Loving vs Virginia) in 1967. Chef Justice Earl Warren cited the 14th Amendment as a reason for doing so. (Source.) Part of that amendment reads:
No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
It doesn’t read “No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of heterosexual citizens. Sorry gay peeps, you’re on your own.”
In summation: JESSICA + SHANA 4 LYFE.
05.08.12 - Charlotte Pastor Mark Harris and Cindy Marrelli of Raleigh celebrate the passage of the N.C. marriage amendment during an election night party at the North Raleigh Hilton.
I keep trying to say something witty or thinking I’ll find the right gif set from some horror movie to add to this. But what could I say that would explain how much joy this couple feels at denying me and my wife our basic civil rights?
This is my life in America today: a majority of voters in one state after another deciding it’s not enough to simply not recognize my relationship but that they must actually go out of their way to guarantee I don’t sneak in any rights under a different name (or, in this case, that any unmarried couples of any sexuality can get away with that).
I believe in progress. I know it won’t take five minutes, let alone five years, for other people to be as disgusted by the idea of two people glorying in hatred as I am. But this part sucks anyway.
The Avengers
Not going to lie, totes posting some spoiler type info, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet, you may wish to save this until after you have.
While driving to the theater today, I had my windows rolled down, and had the misfortune of stopping at a red light beside a guy in a mini van. He was wearing so much awful perfume that it assaulted my senses and left a pungent cloud in my car for a few minutes. I did say; “way too much cologne, dude” but I may as well have muttered it as I doubt he heard me.
I met one of my most favorite people for the movie, and off we went, popcorn in hand. Now, I don’t think of myself as a nerd, I do enjoy watching super hero movies, and in the back of my mind was “what will Stan Lee’s cameo be this time?” Before the movie started, C and I discussed the imminent eye candy, Chris Evans for him and Scar Jo for me, naturally - although we also had Chris Helmsworth and Colbie Smulders respectively, but I digress.
The movie is totally action packed, with great effects, and it was different having a huge chunk of it on a big spaceship. When they went to invisible mode, the ship looked like a massive disco ball, that my imagination demanded an appearance by Kylie Minogue. C and I took turns swooning, which made it all the more enjoyable, and at one point I said to him; “where’s Scar Jo? I miss her ass.” Seriously, it’s amazing, along with those full lips, side tracked again…
Loki, oh Loki, I know we’re supposed to dislike him, as I did, but I couldn’t help mentally giving him a make over. Those horns/antlers on his helmet are ridiculous, and he lacks the flowing hair that Thor has. I know he’s supposed to be a mythologic being, but with his receding hairline, I kept thinking he’d look better with a close cropped cut. Honestly, this is what went through my head during the movie.
Prior to this movie, I didn’t know anything about Black Widow or Hawkeye, and while they hinted at their working together in the past, it’s not the same as being familiar with their back stories. You do find out that Black Widow’s father was a nasty man, and that she “used to be Russian”, I didn’t know you could undo your heritage. She has an amazing ability to get information out of people, and can physically kick ass too, naturally. But what struck me as I watched the first scene she was in, is that in many ways, Sydney Bristow was the first female super hero to really be portrayed on any kind of screen since Wonder Woman (not discounting Xena, she was merely in a different category). Week after week, TV viewers would tune in to watch her be sent on her latest mission, that had her travel globally, speak a multitude of languages and lie to her friends about what would amount to her alter ego.
Banner manages to keep Hulk under wraps, even when provoked by Stark, and we discover that yet another super hero suffers from depression. When Hulk is unleashed, he goes on a spectacular smashing spree. The action scenes are neatly peppered with humor. Gwenyth is back as Pepper, who is shoeless in each of her scenes, probably my least favorite part. There’s mention of Thor’s girlfriend being sent to safety, and Steve Rogers can’t completely shed his 1942 being, he wears super high pants and tips Fury ten bucks when they arrive on his ship.
Over all, the movie was really good, it delivered as promised, and it was that much more enjoyable going with a great friend.
Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, ‘Dear Jim: I loved your card.’ Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, ‘Jim loved your card so much he ate it.’ That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.
Maurice Sendak (via omgponiez)
I remember hearing this story a long time ago! Glad to be reminded of it again.
(via paulftompkins)
(Source: Washington Post)
“Joe Easterling, who described himself as a devout Christian, voted for the amendment at a polling place in Wake Forest. ’I know that some people may argue that the Bible may not necessarily be applicable, or it should not be applicable, on such policy matters. But even looking at nature itself,…
(Source: The Huffington Post)
